


Getting In Tune

by starchase



Series: Improbable Soulmates [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romance, improbable soulmates, small side soonhui, this is so so soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 12:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16449800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starchase/pseuds/starchase
Summary: Sometimes Jihoon still finds himself wondering how he got here. Here, being with Seokmin, having feelings and being in love. It's so far from where he'd always imagined he would be.Because somehow, someway, Seokmin has rendered Jihoon into a ridiculously soft version of his former self. And he can't really bring himself to mind too much.(Or: the continuing story of Jihoon and Seokmin, and how they keep growing together).





	Getting In Tune

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't quite leave these two and this AU alone just yet! This is less a proper fic however, and more like additional scenes that I wanted to write for them, but couldn't work into the main story! You will have to read [This Song's For You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15841872/chapters/36892581) first though, as this one follows on from that, and references some things that take place there! Also you kind of need to see how seokhoon start, to see how far they've come.
> 
> This was a fun little thing to write, and I hope it'll be fun to read!

Life, Jihoon is learning, is fucking weird.  


The Jihoon of a year ago wouldn't be able to recognise the Jihoon of now, that's for sure.  


A year ago he was putting all his time and effort into studying and working for his classes. Looking for a new place to live, too. Last year's Jihoon had been fed up of his housemates – Seungcheol and Jeonghan – being all lovey-dovey and disgusting together after finding each other as soulmates. Last year's Jihoon would be looking at the Jihoon of now with some serious scepticism. Because the Jihoon of last year wouldn't be in the position he is right now: laid out across his bed, with one Lee Seokmin between his legs, smiling seductively up at him.  


He thinks he might combust, in all honesty. Because Seokmin's smile just...does _things_ to Jihoon at the best of times. But when he's like this, being all coy and flirty with his face so close to where Jihoon really, really wants it...  


Fuck, he thinks. Life was a lot simpler for Last Year Jihoon.  


A hell of a lot quieter, too. Emptier as well. Perhaps a little more lonely.  


Okay, right now isn't so awful, maybe.  


“What are you thinking about?” Seokmin asks.  


Jihoon tries not to shiver at the way Seokmin's breath fans warmly against his inner thigh. Doesn't try very hard, though.  


“How annoying you are.”  


Seokmin laughs. It's a softer version of his usual bright, sunny laugh. The sound dances down Jihoon's spine. And then, lower.  


He supposes it's just a part of who they are, for Jihoon to push away any semblance of affection, even in a moment like this. They've never really been conventional, anyway.  


“Oh, seduce me with your sweet nothings, baby,” Seokmin jokes.  


That has a sudden, profound effect on Jihoon and Seokmin seems to watch, amused – and a little in awe – at the way Jihoon jolts.  


Dammit. How did Seokmin manage to work his way so deeply beneath all of Jihoon's hard, prickly outer layers? It's not fair, he thinks, even as he feels his cheeks colour. Jihoon tries to keep his stone-cold mask in place, however. “Don't call me that.”  


“Hmm?” Seokmin's lips brush against the inside of Jihoon's thigh with every little sound he makes. He feels that thoughtful hum shake its way through his nerves. He's ridiculously sensitive there, and Seokmin seems to know this already; not fair. “Why not?” Seokmin's fingers slide over the line of Jihoon's hip, toying loosely with the waistband of Jihoon's boxers.  


Jihoon sucks in a sharp breath, tries not to choke. “I don't like it.”  


As Seokmin blinks up at him, easy smile on his face, Jihoon finds himself wondering when Seokmin turned into _this_ , because this right here, this flirtatious demon between his legs, is too new to Jihoon. And too powerful. How is he coming off as so confident and sure of himself? Jihoon himself feels like he's a mess – inside and outside. Face red, head spinning, words jumbling together uselessly inside his throat.  


He wonders, briefly, if Seokmin might be less composed if positions were reversed – and then Jihoon's brain promptly breaks and stops working.  


Seokmin nuzzles against the soft skin of Jihoon's inner thigh, and his face is so impossibly close to where Jihoon kind of really, really wants Seokmin's face to be. He's sure Seokmin knows this, too.  


“Lies,” Seokmin accuses. Those fingers of his dip a little lower beneath Jihoon's underwear, a teasing touch. “ _Part_ of you definitely likes it, babe.”  


A shudder works it's way through Jihoon, noticeably, and he groans. “Fuck.”  


“Oh no,” Seokmin says, fake-serious. “Not yet. You said you weren't ready.”  


Jihoon closes his eyes, tries to breathe through his nose. Having Seokmin put that thought in his head _right now_ is supremely unfair.  


“Why are you like this?” He accuses.  


He feels the laugh more than he hears it, that spreads warmly across his skin. Taunts him.  


“Do you want me to stop?”  


Jihoon opens his eyes again at that, meets Seokmin's, and finds himself surprised to see just how dark Seokmin's eyes seemed to have grown then. It makes Jihoon swallow thickly. Curl his fingers tighter into the bed sheet beneath him. He finds himself shaking his head. “You're down there now,” he says, weakly.  


His words make Seokmin smile though. They understand each other better, after all this time together. After all the work they've put into making sure of it. When Jihoon says _'you're down there now,'_ what Seokmin might hear is actually _'please don't stop, I want you.'_ Those are the thoughts that are going through Jihoon's mind, anyway, a silent litany of need.  
 

“May as well, right?” Seokmin says, continues their careless theme. And in that, what Jihoon actually hears is _'I want you too.'  
_  

Good, he thinks. If he's going to be in this position, then Seokmin is going to damn well feel _things_ too.  
 

Lips press warmly against the inside of Jihoon's thigh, and he feels his skin tremble beneath that touch. Light, fluttering kisses spread across his skin. Work their tender way higher, higher. Make Jihoon's head spin higher, higher.  
 

He pulls in a shaky breath, sees Seokmin watching him, and loses that breath in one long _whoosh_.  
 

“Okay?” Seokmin asks. His voice is a little lower, a little rougher, than it is usually, and it zips right the way down Jihoon's spine. Slips beneath his skin and makes him feel hot and strange all over.  
 

Jihoon doesn't even really need to think about it, though. Finds himself nodding his head shortly. His throat goes dry, when a moment later, Seokmin is beginning to slowly inch Jihoon's underwear off. He keeps his eyes trained on Jihoon the entire time, though.  
 

He finds he wants to offer Seokmin some reassurance, some kind of gesture to tell him that this is all so very, very okay and please don't stop.  
 

“Just...just make it good, yeah?”  
 

It's not quite what Jihoon had intended, but at the smile that unfolds across Seokmin's face – and there's an almost feral glint to it now that has Jihoon's head reeling – he knows that Seokmin understands him.  
 

Jihoon shudders when, moments later, he's been divested of even his underwear.  
 

“Yes, sir,” Seokmin assures him.  
 

And then, he does something entirely different with his mouth. Hot lips against even hotter skin, and Jihoon let's his eyes slide closed, as he feels his head spin away and out into the atmosphere.

 

**

 

Perhaps it was strange, to some, that this was kind of the first time Jihoon and Seokmin had spent the entire night together. But then Jihoon would have said _fuck you_ to whoever might have thought it weird. Because his and Seokmin's relationship hasn't exactly been conventional so far, and Jihoon could care less what anyone else thought about them. Their speed of motion forward mattered to no one but themselves.  


That, and sometimes it's tricky to work out. Jihoon lives with Soonyoung, after all, and more often than not his boyfriend, Junhui, would be there. And Seokmin has _two_ housemates to work around. Not to mention college has been kicking both of their asses.  
 

So, it's kind of an accident, not exactly planned, the first time.  
 

It's late, and Jihoon's partaking of his favourite Friday night activity: curled up in his bed against Seokmin, quietly watching a really cool action movie. The snacks are long gone, and the movie's building it's way up towards it's climax. And Seokmin feels really warm, though Jihoon is definitely _not_ snuggling, not at all, not even a little bit. He's just enjoying the comfort and warmth that Seokmin provides. It's a boyfriend perk, or something.  
 

Jihoon has, admittedly, been enjoying some of those over the past several months.  
 

He's so into the movie, so absorbed, that it isn't until the music swells to a crescendo, the screen goes black, and Jihoon's on the verge of throwing a fist into the air in triumph, that he turns and notices for the first time that Seokmin's half-asleep. His head lolling to the side, eyes trying to fight staying closed. There's something very different about Seokmin when he's sleepy, Jihoon thinks. He's...softer. Quieter. The sun trying to rise above the horizon on a foggy morning. Peaceful. The opposite of an energetic, wide-awake Seokmin, Jihoon thinks. He's not muted, not any less brilliant just...softer, smoother, when he's like this.  
 

He's also cute as hell, although Jihoon will barely admit that to himself, let alone ever tell Seokmin. He wields enough power as it is, against Jihoon and his weak, traitorous heart.  
 

Sighing quietly to himself, Jihoon reaches out towards his laptop, closes the movie and shuts the entire thing down. The motion, timed with the sudden quiet filling the room, seems to be enough to bring Seokmin back towards something closer to awake.  
 

He blinks around himself, then down at Jihoon. A smile unfolds across his face, gentle, unknowing, when his eyes meet Jihoon's, and Jihoon feels his entire heart stutter and quake, struggle weakly inside his chest to beat. No one's ever, _ever_ , looked at him the way Seokmin does. The very idea that Seokmin smiles like that, just upon seeing Jihoon's face...? It's too much to contemplate. Too much for Jihoon to hold within himself.  
 

The feelings itch beneath his skin, warm and strange, searching for a way out.  
 

Instead, he finds himself grumbling something unintelligible.  
 

Seokmin only smiles wider.  
 

“Sorry, I didn't mean to doze off there. Was it a good ending?”  
 

Part of Jihoon wants to scoff something and push Seokmin away from him (he decides to ignore the fact that he was the one doing most of the cuddling, there). Part of him wants to kiss that sweet, sleepy smile straight off of Seokmin's face.  
 

He must be frowning at the mixing feelings inside of himself because a moment later he hears Seokmin let out a quiet laugh. Feels fingers reach out, smooth down between his eyebrows.  
 

“I'll watch it again and make it to the end, okay?” Seokmin says. “Promise.”  
 

“Fine,” Jihoon huffs. But both he and Seokmin know that there's nothing to it. The smile trying to curl its way across Jihoon's face is a pretty big clue, after all.  
 

Seokmin pulls himself out of Jihoon's hold – Jihoon tries to ignore how empty this suddenly makes him feel – and stretches, lets out a long yawn; it really shouldn't be adorable, but dammit, it _is_. What has happened to him, Jihoon wonders vaguely.  
 

When he pulls his phone out of his pocket a moment later to check the time, Seokmin let's out a quiet moan of despair. “It's so late,” he wails. He drops his head in saddened defeat. “I don't wanna walk home. It's cold and I'm sleepy.”  
 

He's not implying anything, Jihoon knows he isn't, because Seokmin is so ridiculously obvious when he's trying to wheedle something out of Jihoon. Subtlety is not really in Seokmin's nature, not with someone who's so open with his feelings and his thoughts; with his entire being.  
 

He's not implying anything, and yet...  
 

Jihoon keeps his eyes trained down on his hands, which are suddenly occupied with toying with the bedsheets beneath him. He clears his throat. “You...uh. You don't have to walk home?”  
 

He can feel Seokmin's eyes on him, as he turns to look at Jihoon. Jihoon's still staring down at his tasteful, black, bed sheets.  
 

“Uh? I've missed the last train, and I really don't want the cab fare back to mine, so...”  
 

Jihoon huffs again, louder, and this time he does look up at Seokmin. “I mean,” he says, speaking quickly, “just stay here tonight. Idiot.”  
 

Seokmin's mouth falls open, and he looks as if the thought never even crossed his mind. Or perhaps it had, but he definitely wasn't expecting Jihoon to offer it as a solution.  
 

Jihoon, not liking the way his stomach is beginning to swoop and dive, affects an air of nonchalance. Throws Seokmin a look, before pushing himself easily from the bed. “It's no big deal.”  
 

“Right.” Seokmin's voice comes out a little higher-pitched than normal. “Sure. Okay.”  
 

Jihoon hides his smile as he begins rooting through his drawers, looking for something for Seokmin to wear. Pyjama trousers are decidedly out, Jihoon thinks, but he has plenty of oversized shirts that will more than fit Seokmin. When he turns back towards Seokmin, he throws the pyjama shirt easily towards him. Seokmin catches it automatically, eyes still comically wide.  
 

“Are you sure?”  
 

There's a hint of hesitation in Seokmin's voice, a twist of doubt between his eyebrows. It reminds Jihoon, rather starkly in that moment, that those doubts are only there because of _him._ He swallows thickly and pushes those memories away. He'd promised himself, when he and Seokmin hadn't been together, that if he ever earned Seokmin's forgiveness he'd actually try and smooth away those doubts and hesitations.  
 

They've been so happy, for so long now, that the moment is a bit of a shock for Jihoon.  
 

He loosens the usually tight grip he tends to keep over his emotions. “Yeah, course,” he answers. He smiles over at Seokmin, and it's so genuine Seokmin seems to blink for a moment, temporarily stunned. Then he smiles too, and even though it's late, it feels as if the afternoon sun is right there, shining down into Jihoon's bedroom.  
 

“Get changed,” he says, chiding a little now. He makes a shooing motion at Seokmin. “I thought you were tired.”  
 

Seokmin laughs, bright, and scrambles up from the bed, pyjama shirt clutched to his chest. “Yes, sir!” he jokes.  
 

He's on his way out of the room when he pauses as he passes Jihoon. It's a blink-and-miss-it moment, and suddenly Jihoon's cheek is feeling all warm and tingly where Seokmin had pressed a quick kiss to it. Then Seokmin's laughing again as he heads out to the bathroom. Leaving Jihoon standing there in his bedroom, blinking to himself.  
 

It takes a little while for the both of them to get washed and ready to sleep (Jihoon almost, _almost_ , wants to throw himself out of the window when Seokmin had threatened tears upon discovering that Jihoon had had an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. Even when he'd firmly claimed it to be a spare for himself, Seokmin had sniffled happily, insisting that he knew the truth. Seokmin was right, but Jihoon never needs to tell him that).  
 

So it's even later by the time they both finally crawl into Jihoon's bed.  
 

Jihoon's on his back but he can see, out of the corner of his eye, that Seokmin's curled up on his side, looking at Jihoon in the darkness of the bedroom. The moon valiantly tries to shine through Jihoon's window, but it's light is drowned out by the brighter lights of the city instead.  
 

“You're sure this is okay?” Seokmin asks again.  
 

Jihoon pretends Seokmin means something else, and answers easily. “Why wouldn't it be? Soonyoung's staying with Junhui tonight, but even if he wasn't, no one would care.”  
 

Seokmin makes a quiet noise, but seems to accept Jihoon's answer.  
 

Maybe it is a bit weird that they haven't done this before. Because it's new, and Jihoon's suddenly feeling all weird and silly and having _emotions_ . They're not even going to do anything – Jihoon can see, even in the darkness of the room, how sleepy Seokmin looks. But now Jihoon's just _feeling_ , and if they'd done this before, he wouldn't be feeling quite so much, he's sure.  
 

As Jihoon's mind is wondering all of these things – and then some – his mouth is running away from him, saying the things he wants out loud whilst Jihoon's mind is otherwise occupied. Totally unfair, honestly.  
 

“Come here.”  
 

As Seokmin, seemingly quietly surprised, inches towards him, Jihoon turns his head, offers an arm out. Seokmin takes it, snuggles up into the little space that he's making beside Jihoon. It probably looks funny, Jihoon suspects, to see Seokmin (and those wonderfully long legs he possesses) cuddled up against him like this. Jihoon doesn't give a shit, though. It feels nice and he's, surprisingly, content to let Seokmin make as much space for himself as he wants. Beside Jihoon. In Jihoon's bed. In Jihoon's heart. (Admittedly, Seokmin has long since taken up residence within Jihoon's heart, and he continuously seems to take up more and more of it as time goes by. And as time goes by, Jihoon finds himself less and less bothered).  
 

When Seokmin let's out a soft sigh, Jihoon feels the warmth of it spread across his skin. “This is nice,” Seokmin murmurs, and there's such a sound of genuine contentment in his voice that for a moment Jihoon feels far, far too much.  
 

There's something almost embarrassingly intimate about this, he thinks. A different kind of vulnerability that they're opening themselves up to. It isn't the same feeling as when things can heat up between them. This goes deeper, Jihoon thinks to himself.  
 

But when he searches his heart for how he feels, there's far less fear than there might have been, once. There's just a small, resigned version of himself sitting inside his heart, muttering _for fuck's sake, goddamn feelings_ , over and over again. He can live with that.  
 

He hums out an agreement to Seokmin's words; the most Seokmin's gonna get out of him tonight. He's already got Jihoon damn well _cuddling_ here, after all.  
 

“I'll probably kick you off in the middle of the night,” Jihoon warns. He's been steadily growing used to all the touching and affection that Seokmin seems to live for, and even though Jihoon's own personal space bubble is several hundred miles wide, ideally, he's been finding he doesn't really mind. As long as it's Seokmin. Anyone else who tries to touch him or hug him still receives all the most colourful threats that Jihoon can come up with. ( _“Favouritism!”_ Soonyoung had accused of Jihoon, once, after he'd tried to hug Jihoon and he'd grunted and pushed Soonyoung away. _“Yeah, well, he let's me kiss him,”_ had been Jihoon's answer, a mischievous look on his face as Soonyoung had sputtered out useless arguments). The rules were always – had always – been different when it comes to Seokmin.  
 

“That's okay,” Seokmin says, voice a low, sleepy rumble that Jihoon feels against his shoulder. “I'm like an octopus, I can cling through anything!”  
 

Jihoon finds himself laughing despite himself. “That's not something to boast about.”  
 

“Is so.”  
 

“Idiot.”  
 

He can't see it, but he knows that Seokmin is smiling widely over at him. He won't admit how good it makes him feel.  
 

But he does reach out with one hand, let his fingers brush through Seokmin's hair, a brief touch of affection. Jihoon has no idea why, but he always likes playing with Seokmin's hair. He does it without thinking, most of the time.  
 

What might have felt a little weird, a touch awkward, ends up not feeling like that at all, for Jihoon. He stops thinking entirely about how this is a first for them. Mostly because he's thoughts become otherwise occupied with _why is my boyfriend so damn chatty when he's meant to be sleepy? Fucks sake.  
_  

There's something to it, though. It's as if Seokmin has to talk himself tired. Gradually, Jihoon's answers become more and more monosyllabic, and Seokmin's words begin making less sense. But they're warm and they're close, and his voice sounds kind of nice. Even if he is the most annoying idiot in the world.  
 

It's with an irritating sense of warmth filling him that Jihoon finally falls asleep too. That, and Seokmin still curled up close beside him, living up to his octopus boasts.  
 

It ends up being the best night's sleep Jihoon's had in a long time. He doesn't even wake up to kick Seokmin's clinging arms away from him.

 

**

 

“What?” Junhui's looking at him in such wide-eyed incredulity that Jihoon wishes he hadn't even said anything. “You mean, you guys haven't yet?”  


Why had he thought that it would be better talking to Junhui about this, rather than Soonyoung? Oh, yeah, because Soonyoung would turn around and mention it to Seokmin, forgetting that it was told in confidence. Junhui will probably just forget altogether, in about twenty minutes.  
 

Jihoon's voice comes out a little gruff, a little small. “No.” He shoots Junhui a look, trying to pretend that he's not at all embarrassed.  
 

“Huh.” Junhui leans against the back of his chair, takes a noisy slurp from his milkshake. It's meant to be a cold coffee, but there's so much other shit in it that as far as Jihoon's concerned, it's a milkshake wishing it was a frappé. His gaze comes back to Jihoon's face as he speaks again. “What the hell are you guys doing in your room all the time then?”  
 

Jihoon gives him a weird look. Junhui is often on the receiving end of weird looks, to be fair. “Hanging out.” Jihoon has to quickly clamp down on wondering _why_ Junhui seems so confused by the concept of spending time with a partner and not, you know, having sex. He doesn't need to know. He takes a slow sip from his own drink, feeling righteous in how bitter it is, compared to Junhui's faux-coffee.  
 

“Not even any fooling around?” Junhui looks at Jihoon, seemingly stunned and confused. Jihoon wonders again why he thought this was a good idea. “'Course, I mean, if me and Soonie are in a room together with a door that locks--”  
 

And that right there is why Jihoon will never, ever bring anything remotely similar up to Junhui ever again.  
 

He cuts Junhui off quickly with a look that could make a person shrivel up on the spot – any person that isn't Wen Junhui, at least. “Jun, if you finish that sentence, I will fucking kill you. It's bad enough that you almost live there half the time. I don't need to know more.”  
 

Junhui laughs good-naturedly, and his lack of fear bothers Jihoon. It works on everyone else.  
 

“Okay, okay, whatever.” Junhui holds his hands up in surrender. “It's not like it's a big deal or anything. I'm just surprised, is all.”  
 

The rest of their little coffee/faux-coffee meet-up goes well enough, with Jihoon firmly steering the conversation in any other direction. And Junhui's happy enough to talk about his work instead, and how life has been since he, Jihoon and Soonyoung graduated the summer just gone. As if Jihoon doesn't know already, because he wasn't lying when he'd said that Junhui spent half his time over at their place anyway. Still, a nice enough afternoon, if you're into that kind of thing. Coffee's and catch-ups and gossiping.  
 

But, it's obviously been on Jihoon's mind a little bit lately, especially if he's bringing it up to _Junhui_ of all people.  
 

And, it's not as if Jihoon hasn't thought about it. About sex, with Seokmin. He has. Quite a lot, though he's loathe to admit that even to himself. But, he figures that the sex is something that will happen when it happens. It's not like he's going to try and plan shit. Even the idea makes him cringe, because that's just not how he is. Rose petals and candles and whatever the hell else people do when they're trying to be romantic. And, because Jihoon knows that if he was to try and be romantic and shit, he'd only end up embarrassing himself. He can't stand embarrassing himself. And the idea of that happening when he's trying to touch Seokmin's dick (or get Seokmin to touch _his_ dick – oh, fuck...) Well, Jihoon would just shave his head, become a monk, and never see anyone ever again. Simple as.  
 

So, no plans. It'll happen when it happens. He doesn't mind. And he's certainly not just _shy_ , as Junhui had had the gall to mention during their conversation. Just because Jihoon's never had sex before doesn't make him shy. He wants to gag at the very thought.  
 

He certainly doesn't need to be embarrassing himself though, because he has a boyfriend who can be embarrassing enough for the both of them, and then some.  
 

They have the place to themselves – Junhui and Soonyoung are out on one of their date nights, and as gross as Jihoon thinks that is, he's also grateful. It means he and Seokmin can have some peace and quiet as they hang out, in Jihoon's room, behind a locked door.  
 

So, perhaps it's not always just _hanging out_ that they do when they're alone together any more, but other people don't need to know that.  
 

Because tonight, something's in the air. Something that even Jihoon, and all his faux-belligerence, has found impossible to ignore. It starts with a sweet kiss – from Seokmin, of course. It's always Seokmin who starts with sweetness. It continues with hands in each other's hair, mouths pressed against whatever warm, bare skin they can reach; the bumps of Seokmin's sharp collar bones; the curve of Jihoon's shoulder; neck and chest and jaw; everywhere, basically. Jihoon falls into a haze, this haze he only ever experiences with Seokmin, when things are like this. It's hot and it's muggy, and it moves slowly around Jihoon. Covers him and makes it difficult to think. Probably because he really shouldn't be thinking, anyway, not when Seokmin's dragging his tongue slowly over one of Jihoon's nipples, making Jihoon squirm and gasp beneath him.  
 

It continues with one of Jihoon's hands fisted tightly in Seokmin's hair, his lips burning trails down Seokmin's neck. It continues with Seokmin's cock held tightly in Jihoon's other hand, Seokmin making the prettiest, prettiest noises as his hips bucked up into Jihoon's grasp. (Though, that's a thought that Jihoon will deny having later, but for now, he let's those sounds wash over him, fill up his haze even more).  
 

It ends all too abruptly, honestly. With Seokmin being over-eager (and what's new about that, really) and Jihoon's hand quickly a sticky mess. It's not usually like that, whenever they work themselves into this kind of mood together, so they're both taken by surprise. Jihoon's blinking down at his hand as he processes, and Seokmin... Seokmin has the blanket pulled up and over his face, is hiding himself away in apparent shame. He can't even look at Jihoon.  
 

“Shit,” Jihoon hears, mumbled behind the blanket. “I didn't mean to...”  


It's not often (it's all the time, honestly, but Jihoon ignores that) that Jihoon let's himself think things, and people, are _cute_. And yet despite the situation, Seokmin is so incredibly cute in this moment, it makes Jihoon want to be sick. Except not really, not at all. He's kind of glad that Seokmin's hiding, because it means that he can't see the wide smile that's spread across Jihoon's face, the flush that's still filling his cheeks.  
 

He tries to tame the smile on his face, tries to reign it back in. A task that's become increasingly difficult, really, since he and Seokmin started dating. He'll curse that fact later, because in this moment he has a mortified boyfriend to comfort.  
 

“Hey,” he says, not very softly, and it does the trick. Seokmin lowers the blanket, just enough to peek over the edge at Jihoon. He almost laughs at the wide-eyed look being sent his way, but swallows it away instead. “It's fine,” Jihoon continues. “No big deal.”  
 

“But...I ruined it?”  
 

Fuck, Jihoon thinks. Fuck, because he's so, so far gone by this point. Months and months and months of this in his life, of Seokmin, of smiles and laughter and everything else that comes with him, has made him so fucking soft. He thinks he can actually _feel_ his heart, swelling and growing and heating up, as it beats steadily inside his chest. Part of him – an old part of himself, probably – wants to squash the feeling down, pull it out his chest and go _ugh_. The bigger part of himself just sighs, and accepts this as his life now. It's not too bad, really.  
 

Jihoon laughs, lightly though, he's not that much of an asshole, and reaches towards Seokmin. With his clean hand, cause, gross. He tugs the blanket away and Seokmin gives in easily. He's lying there, looking over at Jihoon with wide, embarrassed eyes, and somehow like this, Seokmin makes himself look really small. Jihoon just marvels at him for a long moment. Tall, broad, leggy Seokmin, looking small and mortified and ridiculously cute despite everything.  
 

This is where Jihoon would usually think that he hates his life, except he can't even try to pretend that he hates anything about this right now.  
 

“Nah, you didn't,” he finally manages to say, keeps his voice light and easy. “Just means I'm really fucking good at getting you off,” he adds, grinning a little smugly now. He almost laughs at the sudden surprise on Seokmin's face, at those words. “I'll take that.”  


The haze has dissolved, the mood's disappeared for now, and neither of them mind. Jihoon let's Seokmin clean up, before he also let's Seokmin curl up against him, the clingiest person Jihoon has ever known, he swears. And they just lie there together, close, Seokmin playing music for Jihoon on his phone, sharing his new favourite songs. Their conversation waxes and wanes, wonders from normal to the absurd ( _“If you could only ever eat cereal for the rest of your life, which one would you pick?” “What the fuck, I'm going to die then, I can't live on just cereal.” “That's not an answer!” “Fine. Cornflakes.” “You're so boring!” “Your face is boring.”_ ) And it's just how they are together. Quiet one moment, Seokmin babbling away the next, making Jihoon defend himself heatedly, ridiculously, over his choice of cereal.  
 

But, it's nice. It's easy. So, so much easier than Jihoon had thought, had worried about it being, so long ago now. If he can't be like this with his boyfriend, with Seokmin, then who can he be this relaxed and easy with?  
 

Somehow, Seokmin had woven his way into Jihoon's life, into his heart, and by now there's no possible way to remove him without taking pieces of Jihoon away with him too. So, he may as well keep Seokmin right where he is. Curled up against Jihoon, breath hot against the side of Jihoon's neck every time he laughs, and Jihoon's fingers stroking absently through his hair (it's gonna look ridiculously mussed up whenever Seokmin finally gets up, and Jihoon grins a little evilly to himself at the thought).  
 

And if, somehow, eventually, things heat up a little again between them (when Seokmin mouths over Jihoon's pulse point, knowing full well what kissing his neck actually does to Jihoon) well, that's nice too. Gets easier and easier every time, to slip back into that haze. Easier, to let himself sigh and moan, unwind and become pliant beneath Seokmin's insistent kisses, his warm, wandering hands.  
 

It's nice, really, when those long, pretty fingers wrap around Jihoon, take hold and stroke, slow and easy. Nice, the way Seokmin whispers into his ear about how he'll always make sure he'll take care of him, too. ( _“As if I'd leave my sweet Jihoonie wanting.”_ )  
 

And Jihoon wants, because Seokmin makes _sure_ that Jihoon is wanting.  
 

It's all too easy to let himself go, Seokmin's hand still wrapped firmly around him. But, it's even more than nice, Jihoon feels rather than thinks, as he looks up into Seokmin's face. Sees a softer version of his usual sunny smile shining down at Jihoon, his eyes sweet crescents. At the satisfaction on Seokmin's face, over Jihoon's own satisfaction. It's better than nice, this warmth that envelopes him, encloses them both.  
 

It's wonderful.  
 

(Jihoon only let's himself think any of these things, he tells himself later, because it's hard to control the direction your thoughts wander after being made to feel so good, after finding himself come rather undone. He can't be held accountable for his stupid softness in those breathless moments).

 

**

 

Jihoon doesn't want to call it a date night, but that's exactly what it is. It's an evening, and it's a date, and thus: Date Night. Also, Seokmin had turned that into a little song before they'd even left his apartment that evening and now Jihoon can't get it out of his head. He supposes if there's one night where he can bring himself to call it a date, it should be tonight. It's been a year now since their first date. A whole year, and that seems kind of mad to Jihoon, when he thinks about it properly. (Tries not to think about it properly, because it makes his heart flutter and his stomach clench. Makes him feel too, too much).  


A year of so many, many new experiences for Jihoon, for the both of them. New feelings. Ups (and some really, really good ups, he'll allow). And some really awful downs – Jihoon hopes it's the worst down they'll ever have, because they got through that, so they'd make it through anything else he's sure. A year since he heard Seokmin singing for the first time, since his heart and his soul clicked into place, realised that his was the voice from the soulmate dreams that haunted Jihoon, even in his waking hours.  
 

A year with the loudest, most ridiculous, embarrassing human being he's ever had the misfortune to know and be paired up with.  
 

And here Jihoon is, and he must also be ridiculous and embarrassing because he's stupid in love with this loud fool that is his soulmate.  
 

A year's not so bad, he thinks, as Seokmin throws Jihoon one of his warm, wide smiles, his eyes bright as they fall on Jihoon's face. As Seokmin wraps his fingers firmly around Jihoon's hand, he thinks that maybe, it's not too bad imagining many more years ahead of them.  
 

He lets out a huff as their hands slip together. “I'm only letting you hold my hand because you're a big baby.”  
 

Seokmin laughs, and it's a sound that Jihoon's grown so used to over the year, too loud, too bright, and too familiar. He hates how much he loves it. (Except he doesn't hate, not at all. Not even a little bit).  
 

“Am not. You're barely three months older than me!” He tries to pout, but Seokmin's too cute, too amused, and it falls from his face and back into his usual smile.  
 

“Still counts,” Jihoon insists. And his fingers absolutely don't tighten their grip around Seokmin's hand, not at all, he tells himself. He's not the one tugging Seokmin forward to make him start moving. “And you are. The biggest baby I've ever met.” It's teasing, and Jihoon's sure that Seokmin can see the little smile lingering on his face as they look over at each other.  
 

“No way,” Seokmin insists again, defensive. Takes a hesitant, single step forward at Jihoon's little tug on his hand.  
 

“You cried the other day because you stepped on a snail.”  
 

Seokmin makes a face, and it's enough to have Jihoon laugh, loudly this time, pause in his motion to make sure he doesn't slip and fall. Because Seokmin had decided that their big date night should involve ice skating, even though all of Jihoon's choices had involved not leaving the house (he'd been quite firm about that). Yet somehow, here he is, Seokmin's hand in his own, as they both take tentative, unsteady steps onto the rink together.  
 

“It was a baby!” Seokmin all but wails, his face crumpling again at the reminder. “I didn't see it until it was too late, I felt so bad!”  
 

Jihoon's still sniggering, so amused and so endeared by Seokmin in this moment.  
 

His laughter is still ringing out behind them as Jihoon tugs Seokmin out onto the ice with him so they can actually go ahead and goddamn skate. “This was your idea in the first place,” Jihoon reminds him, smile wide and unguarded in this moment, forgetting himself. He does this more and more often around Seokmin these days, without realising.  
 

“It's the worst idea I've ever had.”  
 

Seokmin's clutching at both of Jihoon's hands now, tightly, and Jihoon can't help but laugh. How is this tall, ridiculous, stupidly handsome man even real? How is he Jihoon's?  
 

“No way. You've definitely had worse,” Jihoon reminds him. “I was there. I remember.”  
 

Seokmin pulls a face, although he laughs; he remembers, too.  
 

That's what Jihoon remembers the most, about that night. The laughter and the fun, as he pulled Seokmin along the ice with him.  
 

Perhaps date nights weren't all that bad.  
 

Maybe.  
 

Once a year.  
 

He thinks that the romantics might be onto something, when it comes to celebrating special occasions, and how they make people feel. Because after the ice skating, and dinner, and the ice cream Seokmin insists on getting even though it's starting to get cold now, Jihoon feels...well, he feels light. He feels easy, and he feels happy. Comfortable. He supposes he feels romantic, although a part of himself grimaces internally at the idea of it. He doesn't know what to do with that. But he also doesn't have the energy to worry about it too much.  
 

Not when there are more pressing matters to hand. Not when his head is cradled between Seokmin's arms, with Seokmin staring down at him as if Jihoon himself is what keeps the world turning. As if Jihoon makes the sun rise every day, keeps the moon and the tides in check, has hung the very stars himself in the sky just for Seokmin to enjoy on rare nights where they can see some, a little.  
 

There's a lot suddenly happening inside of Jihoon, in this moment. This moment in Seokmin's arms, in Seokmin's bed. ( _In Seokmin's heart_.)  
 

It takes Jihoon's breath away. Unless that's the kiss that Seokmin leans in to give Jihoon, which is also pretty breathtaking, in all honesty. He lets himself fall into it. Finds himself meeting Seokmin's lips with just as much enthusiasm. (Which is a lot of enthusiasm, honestly).  
 

There must be something to anniversaries and special occasions and this whole romance business, because Jihoon's feeling soft and on fire as their lips meet, again and again, in increasingly heated kisses.  
 

They've gotten good at this, by now. At making each other feel good. So much less shyness between them, when fire burns beneath their skin and they see each other like this.  
 

(Jihoon still remembers the first time they really, properly, began fooling around like this. Remembers how red Seokmin's face grew, when Jihoon had started touching him for the first time – so embarrassed, but so into it, even when Jihoon was only touching him through the fabric of Seokmin's underwear. It had been endearing, and had helped Jihoon keep going, because he'd felt pretty embarrassed himself when Seokmin had reached out to touch him in return. Remembers how his brain had begun to short-circuit, the first time he felt Seokmin take him into his hand, clumsy and unsure but so, so eager to please. Still eager to please. Always eager to please. It had been quick and fumbling and a little awkward, but Jihoon had felt breathless and dizzy afterwards, and the silly, lopsided smile that hadn't left Seokmin's face the rest of that night was still imprinted within Jihoon's heart.)  
 

Their touches are more certain, now. They've taken the time to learn what feels good, how things feel good. There's confidence now, when Seokmin's hands slide down the side of Jihoon's body, where once they had shaken and fumbled nervously. There's a certainty, a heat and a depth of wanting, when Jihoon tells Seokmin to take his trousers off, then starts tugging them off himself, when before he would have framed it as an awkward question. ( _“Do you, uh, do you wanna take your trousers off?”_ )  
 

They've traversed a lot of these bridges in their time together, by now. Jihoon likes the comfort that comes with knowing Seokmin, and having Seokmin know him.  
 

And yet, there are steps they have yet to take. Steps which Jihoon tries not to think too hard about – he may just self-combust – until he's forced to think about them.  
 

He feels Seokmin's breath shake out against his skin as he pauses, the kisses he'd been spreading across Jihoon's chest slowing. Feels the question that hangs, unspoken from Seokmin's lips. Jihoon's hand is in Seokmin's hair – always drawn to his hair, and Jihoon really doesn't know why – and he tugs, just lightly. A silent urge for Seokmin to look up at him.  
 

“What is it?” Jihoon asks, and his voice comes out rougher than he'd expected. Though he's past being embarrassed about that, now. Not when the last time it had happened, Seokmin had all but growled, and bit down into the curve of Jihoon's shoulder, showing Jihoon exactly what he thought of how he sounded when he was hot and wanting.  
 

Seokmin's eyes meet Jihoon's and there's an honest to god blush spreading across Seokmin's cheeks. Jihoon hasn't seen that in awhile, and he kind of revels in it a little bit. He's glad to see that his shy, silly boyfriend is still there, even though Jihoon definitely enjoys the growing confidence, too.  
 

He doesn't answer though, and Jihoon's beginning to ache a little, with how they've been slowly, steadily working each other up into this...this mess of limbs, of heat and desire and need. Why Seokmin has to get shy now, when Jihoon's half-naked and half-hard, he has no idea.  
 

“Do you wanna try something?” It's a guess, because that's usually when one of them will revert back to their shyness with each other.  
 

Seokmin averts his gaze, and though his lips have stopped their kisses, his hands are still moving over Jihoon's body. He feels a shiver beneath his skin, where Seokmin is rubbing small circles of warmth against Jihoon's hip.  
 

“I can't say,” he finally admits, and Seokmin's voice has also lowered, taken on that rougher tone that always works its way straight southdown Jihoon's body when he hears it. “It's embarrassing.”  
 

Jihoon snorts, lightly. “Everything you say is embarrassing.”  
 

Seokmin makes a sound, smacks lightly at Jihoon's hip, before his fingers return to rubbing out their small, soft little patterns into Jihoon's skin.  
 

“Come on,” Jihoon says, chides. He tugs again at Seokmin's hair, until Seokmin gets the message and pulls himself up beside Jihoon again. “Just tell me.” He leans in, begins to spread hot little kisses along Seokmin's jawline. That's a thing, too, Jihoon learning to give in and do the things he wants to let himself do to Seokmin. With Seokmin. He was perhaps a little passive when they first started all of this, in his shyness and his uncertainty, but he's definitely not so passive any more.  
 

He runs a hand down the length of Seokmin's back, an almost ticklish touch, and smiles at the way that Seokmin shudders against him, briefly. “If you make me play twenty questions with you, I'm kicking you out of bed. You can sort yourself out.” He's smiling to himself, a little evilly as he bites down, not so lightly, on the curve of Seokmin's earlobe.  
 

“It's my bed!” Jihoon can hear the pout in Seokmin's voice, and laughs to himself; it's a little breathy, a little low.  
 

His hand wanders lower, and he feels Seokmin press into him. Feels all of Seokmin, pressing against him now. Body squirming a little beneath Jihoon's slowly stroking hand.  
 

“Don't care. Tell me, or suffer.”  
 

He feels Seokmin's fingers grip tightly at his waist. Feels a nervous little shake in that hold around him. But Seokmin's losing this battle, Jihoon can feel it, as he begins to kiss his way along the length of Seokmin's collarbone. Follows it across the broad expanse of one shoulder. Knows that this is how to untie Seokmin, how to begin unravelling him.  
 

Jihoon revels, just a little, in the long, low sigh that escapes Seokmin then. He knows that he's won – what that is, Jihoon has no idea, but he likes winning anyway. Seokmin presses closer, banking the fire that grows between them. Jihoon's trying not to think too hard about how he wishes there were no clothes left on between them just then. Thoughts like that usually bring about his downfall.  
 

Though, in this sense, _falling_ just means _letting go_ , opening himself up, and he's been learning, slowly over all these months, how to do that more and more. With Seokmin.  
 

Fingers clutch at his hips. Hot breath falls across his chest. Jihoon breathes it all in. Feels the words beginning to stir in Seokmin's chest – pressed up against his side – before they even leave his lips.  
 

“I want...”  
 

Sometimes it astounds Jihoon, how his too-loud, too-ridiculous boyfriend can possibly be this quiet sometimes, that his voice can even sound as hushed as it does then, his whisper kissing Jihoon's warm skin.  
 

“I want you.”  
 

He feels Seokmin, pressing hard against his thigh. Jihoon's brain, and it's slowly been fading into the warm haze all this time, does the maths. Works out what _'I want you,'_ plus extreme shyness plus those hips (wide and oh so lovely) pressing against Jihoon's thigh, equals.  
 

And that's when his brain short-circuits. Just stutters to a stop, and ceases working. Because he gets what Seokmin's trying to ask, and Jihoon's tried to avoid thinking about this in too much detail _because_ he knows that it would do this to him. Make him want to fling himself out of a window because he's feeling so fucking much right now, and he's never been good at feelings.  
 

Except now, except for a long time, Jihoon's also wanted.  
 

He's understandably a little nervous. They've yet to go quite that far, and Jihoon doesn't want to embarrass himself – embarrass either of them. But, his mind has stopped working, and he finds himself wanting just as much as Seokmin does. Wants to feel Seokmin, inside of him, or...or, _fuck_ , feel himself within Seokmin, he doesn't mind which. He just...he just wants.  
 

“Yeah.” Jihoon's voice comes out in a long, shaking breath. Unsteady, like the heavy fluttering of his heart inside his chest. “Yeah, okay. Sure.”  
 

He doesn't really know what he's saying. Would probably be a little embarrassed that Seokmin's sweet little plea for sex ends with _'yeah, sure,'_ from himself. But it doesn't matter.  
 

It turns out that Seokmin's been planning. Not in the way that Jihoon's disregarded as stupid, romantic shit to himself in the past. No candles or rose petals, no soft music; not planning to that level (and Jihoon's a little glad, because he doesn't really want anything to take away from these moments between them. No distractions, just Seokmin, and himself, as they come together).  
 

But he's prepared, been waiting, hoping, aching, for this. Jihoon shouldn't be surprised, but he kind of is. (He'll laugh about it, later, and he'll tease Seokmin, after the weight of it all has spread over them. Will ask Seokmin how long he's had this little _Fuck Jihoon_ kit ready and waiting to be used. And Seokmin will laugh about it and blush so, so hard that Jihoon can feel the heat of it kissing against his own skin).  
 

In this actual moment, however, he's too busy being caught up in it all. In soft words, the quiet assurances they share with each other. Gentle touches, trying to ease into these new experiences, these new feelings. It's definitely a little awkward at first, a little fumbling. But instead of being mortified, Jihoon only finds himself laughing softly. Encourages Seokmin with a tug on his hair, or tightening his grip around Seokmin's forearm. He can laugh about it, when they accidentally knock heads a little, or when their legs get tangled, instead of Jihoon wanting to fling himself into the sun and dissolve. (It's the other sensations that pulse through him, hot and all-consuming, that make Jihoon want to throw himself into the sun, anyway).  
 

It's because it's with Seokmin. And if there's one thing that Jihoon's learnt, in all this time spent with his soulmate, that the easiest thing to do with Seokmin is to just laugh. Fumbling and awkward, and a little stilted, a little strange, but as long as it's Seokmin and himself together, that's okay. Jihoon's made sure to learn just how okay that has to be, if he wants this to work. (He does, he wants it to work always).  
 

Somehow though, they get there. Together. And Jihoon's glad he isn't a romantic, hasn't been building it up inside his mind as this massive Thing. Because he can take it for what it is – which is, giving himself to Seokmin, taking what Seokmin so, so willingly (and enthusiastically) has to offer him. He lets himself sink into the moment, as Seokmin sinks into him.  
 

There's that sweet, embarrassed smile on Seokmin's face as he stares down at Jihoon, a question in his eyes. Hesitation in his movements. It brings a warmth to Jihoon's face, makes him smile despite himself – it's as if his entire being has forgotten just who he is, in these moments now with Seokmin, and when the fuck had he grown quite this soft? Being mushy, even within his own warm and drifting thoughts, while Seokmin's inside of him, is the last thing Jihoon would expect from himself. Fucking hell.  
 

But he smiles up at Seokmin, knocks his knuckles lightly against Seokmin's cheek, an attempt to dislodge the embarrassment from his face. “It's fine,” Jihoon assures. “You're doing great. Don't stop.” There's a look on Seokmin's face, at those words, but it's a look and a thought for Jihoon to decipher and consider for later. Not now.  
 

Now, all he can think about is this, about them. Warm hands, warmer lips, as they connect and slowly move together. Seokmin whispering a constant litany to Jihoon.  
 

And Jihoon, he's gone, honestly. Thoughts having spun away until all he is is a person who _feels_ , who feels everything. Even when it's not quite right, and he's gasping and Seokmin is whispering a hurried _sorry, sorry_ , apologising for a bony elbow, he almost feels too much. If this is them when they're still trying to coordinate and work things out then, wow, Jihoon thinks. Wow. Because he's really in for it, when they actually get _good_ at this.  
 

There's no more room then for anything else. Seokmin, and Jihoon, and this moment that spreads between them, is everything.  
 

The one thing that Jihoon does think, later, after their breaths have begun to settle into something more regular, after they've cleaned up, and his thighs have stopped shaking. After, when Seokmin pulls him close, and Jihoon is happy and pliant and sleepy enough to let this human barnacle cling to him, he turns his face towards Seokmin, and speaks.  
 

“Why,” Jihoon starts, fingers drawing loose, lazy patterns into the still-flushed skin along Seokmin's back, “the hell did we wait so long?”  
 

Seokmin stares at him, eyes bright in the dark, before he lets out a loud, startled laugh.  
 

“Ugh,” Jihoon grumbles, smacking at Seokmin lightly, before his fingers return to the more pleasant task of just touching him.  
 

“You're something else,” Seokmin murmurs, amusement still lacing his voice.  
 

Jihoon leans up, presses a sweet, soft kiss to the curve of Seokmin's jaw, before he says, quietly demanding, “shut the fuck up.”  
 

Seokmin's laughter follows Jihoon into his dreams though, keeps him warm, keeps him soft. He kind of hates it. But he really kind of loves it, too.

 

**

 

The night is cold, and Jihoon's sleepy, which is why he's currently clinging – maybe a little too tightly – to Seokmin's side. It's warm here, with Seokmin, wrapped up together in Jihoon's bed. Whilst he's never been big on physical affection, Seokmin is; he revels in even the smallest, lightest of touches and kisses. Loves hugging and holding and just being close. And, because Jihoon loves him, he's grown used to this. Has become more comfortable in being able to accept physical affection, and want it for himself. But only with Seokmin.  


And sometimes Jihoon just feels like keeping close. He doesn't want to think of it as snuggling, because that sounds _gross_ , disgustingly domestic, but despite what Jihoon thinks, it actually is snuggling.  
 

Occasionally, when they spend the night together, Jihoon will wake up in the darkness and push Seokmin away, because he has a dead arm and Seokmin's so _warm_. But sometimes...sometimes, Jihoon will just lay there, and let himself enjoy the moment. Will secretly kind of love how Seokmin's taller, larger body is wrapped so tightly around Jihoon's. How small it makes him feel. He'll keep this secret with him until his dying day, of course. But sometimes, it's pretty fucking great.  
 

But in this moment, they're warm and wrapped up together, and Jihoon feels happy and comfortable.  
 

It's been a nice night, really, even if it was as cold as balls when they walked home together from the restaurant earlier. And after coming back home they'd decided to watch a movie together on the couch. It had been Seokmin's turn to choose, and as much as Jihoon liked to call him an idiot, he'd accused Jihoon of being a terrible cheat when he'd spread hot little kisses down Seokmin's throat to try and distract him from the movie. Jihoon had been forced to watch the entire thing, and he hadn't even hated it that much. Ugh.  
 

And then retreating into Jihoon's room, with Jihoon playing Seokmin some of the music he'd been writing lately, had actually lead to something more. And that, well, Jihoon can't help but smile to himself a little now. Because that, sex, is definitely something they've gotten good at, now. With practice.  
 

Which leads them to here, and now, in the hushed depths of the night, when they should probably be sleeping. But Seokmin's still talking. Always talking.  
 

“We should get a dog.”  
 

Jihoon frowns, a little confused because he didn't actually hear any of the words leading up to that sentence. Then he lets out a laugh. “Yeah, and who's gonna look after it?”  
 

He feels Seokmin's breath ruffle through his hair, as he speaks. “Both of us! Together.”  
 

“Are we gonna split custody of a dog or something?”  
 

It's Seokmin who laughs this time, and Jihoon feels the arm around his waist tighten a little. “I mean we'd both have the dog. Together. In the same place.”  
 

Jihoon's opening his mouth to say something else, when Seokmin's words actually register. He blinks, caught a little off guard. Caught a lot off guard.  
 

“I mean,” Seokmin says, continues before Jihoon can say anything. “I'll be graduating this summer. And Soonyoung and Junhui will want their own place soon enough.”  
 

“They practically live together already,” Jihoon says.  
 

He feels a finger poking into his side, knows it's because Jihoon's only commented on the part that doesn't really matter.  
 

He huffs. Tilts his head until he's looking up into Seokmin's face, who's smiling, small and hesitant, only a glimmer of a spring morning, down at Jihoon. “And spend even more time with you than I do already?” He makes a face, tries to pretend like it's the worst idea in the world. But neither of them are buying it.  
 

It's not, either, not really. He likes to tease, to joke, and say that Seokmin's so loud and annoying, likes to call him an idiot, but somehow over time those have just grown into Jihoon's way of showing his fondness and affection for Seokmin. Because the idea of somewhere that's just for the two of them (and of course, this future-dog that Seokmin's already got his heart set on, probably already has named and shit, Jihoon _knows_ ) is actually not the worst idea ever.  
 

Coming home to Seokmin would be nice. Really, really nice. They don't get to do it often, lately. Seokmin's in his final year of college, working towards graduation and trying to find himself work afterwards. And Jihoon's finally starting to get more work himself. It's as a session musician, but it's a foot in the door, and so Jihoon's been pulling long hours, putting a lot into making connections and trying to get this to work.  
 

The thought of coming home after a long day and having Seokmin and his smile to greet him though? It warms Jihoon. What he once thought of as a small, shrivelled, cold muscle inside his chest grows and swells and expands. It wouldn't be so bad at all, because really, Jihoon likes spending time with Seokmin. No one makes him laugh like Seokmin does. The kind of laughter that is breathless, that squeezes tears from Jihoon's eyes; let loose and doubled over himself kind of laughter. And they have fun, Seokmin makes Jihoon have fun. He's also become Jihoon's biggest cheerleader, always complimenting whatever of his music that Jihoon shares with him, encourages him. Offers Jihoon comfort, when shit gets difficult and he thinks he can't do it.  
 

It's actually a pretty nice idea, and Jihoon kind of hates that. But he also kind of loves it. A lot.  
 

He huffs again, taps his fingers lightly against the small of Seokmin's back, where his hand rests. “Just focus on graduating first. That's months and months away.”  
 

He can feel the smile on Seokmin's face, just as well as he can see it, he's sure. “That's not a no.”  
 

“It's a shut the fuck up and let me sleep.” Then, a little softer, “we'll talk about it in a few months.”  
 

Seokmin lets out a sigh, a happy sigh, Jihoon thinks, and lowers his head. Nuzzles his face into Jihoon's hair, and tightens his hold. Jihoon frowns at that, except it's the weakest frown to ever grace his face. He should be ashamed of himself, what has Seokmin done to him? Ruined a perfectly good, small ball of anger and bitterness, is what Soonyoung had said once. (He'd had to flee for his life after that, and Junhui had even sent Jihoon a plea to not break his boyfriend too much, he still had his uses, thank you).  
 

“That's as good as a maybe for you.” He feels the kiss that Seokmin presses against the top of his head, a whisper of a promise, of a hope for the future. Jihoon can't think about it too much right now, but, well, he won't hide that potential away.  
 

“Sure, whatever. Can we sleep now?”  
 

There's a laugh, even as Jihoon's fingers still play idly against Seokmin's skin.  
 

“Okay, but one more question first.”  
 

Jihoon sighs.  
 

Seokmin seems to take that as the _okay_ that it really, really isn't. (It is).  
 

“Who would win in a fight? Goku, or Luke Skywalker?”  
 

Jihoon blinks, momentarily stunned. “You're such an idiot. If I could be bothered, I'd grab this pillow right now and smother your stupid mouth.”  
 

Seokmin's laughing to himself though, despite the death threat. An idiot, Jihoon thinks again, with no fear.  
 

“It's a stupid question,” and Jihoon kind of hates himself a little even as he starts talking. This is the level Seokmin's drawn him down to. “Luke wouldn't fight him anyway. So no one would win.”  
 

The thoughtful silence that follows this is enough to let Jihoon know that he's probably, most definitely, in for a long night.

 

**

 

“Excuse me, but what?” Jihoon asks, his eye probably going comically wide, judging by the way Seokmin's looking at him.  


But then his face is falling back into one of surprise, and he's covering his mouth, shaking his head at Jihoon.  
 

Jihoon just _looks_ at him, and that's usually enough to make Seokmin break.  
 

“Don't-don't _say_ anything,” Seokmin says, looking abashed. “I wasn't meant to tell anyone.”  
 

It's kind of funny how Seokmin's looking around them when they're in a coffee shop full of other people, none of whom are any of their friends. It's not like that guy in the garish green jumper behind them is listening in, waiting for some hot gossip about people he doesn't even know. And yet Seokmin's looking as if Soonyoung or Junhui themselves might jump up from behind him and accuse him of accidentally leaking secrets.  
 

“I'm not just anyone,” Jihoon grumbles. Takes a sip of his wonderfully bitter, strong coffee. It helps sustain his grumpiness. The grumpiness that pretty much doesn't exist any more, not with Seokmin, anyway.  
 

“Soonyoung asked me not to tell a soul!” Seokmin still looks aghast at himself, that he'd let it slip.  
 

Jihoon rolls his eyes, but really he's amused. “He meant not to mention it to any of those dorks you call friends-”  
 

“Hey! They're your friends, too.”  
 

“-Of course,” Jihoon continues, “you were obviously going to tell me. Boyfriends don't count as just _anyone_.” He's not really insulted or anything, but damn, is it fun riling Seokmin up like this. He still looks so concerned, and it's actually pretty fucking adorable. His hands are clenched around his hot mug of stupidly-sweet coffee, as if that will magically give Seokmin some advice in this moment. It doesn't.  
 

“Jihoonie, please...”  
 

Jihoon reaches out across the table, gives Seokmin a light, playful smack on his forearm. “Shut up. As if I'm gonna say anything.” It's only when he leans back into his seat, after he's taken another long sip of coffee – and watched the slight look of relief cross Seokmin's face – that Jihoon realises. He probably pales a little, as the thought strikes him. “Oh, fuck. They're gonna be even more insufferable, aren't they?” And he groans, almost lowers his head to the table in despair. He only stops when he realises how disgusting the table probably is, and doesn't want that on his face. “They're bad enough now, but knowing they're _engaged_.”  
 

Seokmin's hands leave the mug, and fly into the air, waving in Jihoon's face.  
 

“They're not here, you dork. They can't hear us talking about it.”  
 

Seokmin looks only a little embarrassed as he pulls his hands away, settles them once again around his hot mug. As someone walks in – or out, Jihoon isn't looking – there's a cold blast of air from the momentarily opened door. Seokmin shivers a little, unconsciously, and Jihoon has to stop himself from thinking how cute that is. Because that's gross, thinking almost every other thing his boyfriend does is _cute_. Even if it actually is.  
 

“They don't have like, rings or anything,” Seokmin says, and Jihoon has to try and not laugh out loud at how he's making an effort to lower his voice. He's so ridiculous, and Jihoon's so in love. He hates it. (He doesn't). “And I don't think they have any plans for an actual wedding anytime soon. It's just...well, Soonyoung said that they just _know.”_ Seokmin pauses to shrug his shoulders a little at Jihoon. “And if they know, they might as well make it official?”  
 

Jihoon makes a gagging noise.  
 

Seokmin's nose wrinkles as he laughs. “Hey, I think it's cute. They're cute, and they're happy.”  
 

“Yeah, yeah. They're disgusting and insufferable is what they are. Just wait until they tell everyone.”  
 

Except inside, Jihoon's happy for them really. They'd found each other awhile ago, been together ever since, and Soonyoung and Junhui are happy. Settled. It's nice, he supposes, that they just know they want to spend the rest of their lives together. It's a big one, a scary, overwhelming commitment. Except it's not for them, he realises. Not the way Seokmin's recounting Soonyoung's tale of how it had happened. It had been simple, a casual mention, an easy agreement.  
 

“Jun's insisted though,” Seokmin continues, leaning in as he talks, “that Soonyoung has to do it properly eventually. Like, a proper proposal. He wants a ring and a speech and all that.”  
 

Jihoon makes a face; he can imagine, and he really, really doesn't want to.  
 

“God,” he says again, after Seokmin's finished. He's got the dregs of his coffee left, and he's wondering if they have enough time left together for him to order a second one, before either of them have to make a move and split up, finish their day apart from each other. “I really can't live with them when they're _engaged_.” His mind is already going through all the ways this will be terrible for him. They're bad enough to put up with as they are, all affection and romance and sweetness together, it's disgusting. But engaged? To be married? Insufferable.  
 

Seokmin's smile is slow, and doesn't come into full bloom until he's finished speaking. And it's not until then that Jihoon realises it's his mischievous smile.  
 

“That place together and our little dog isn't looking too bad now, is it?”  
 

Instead of answering, Jihoon tries to kick at Seokmin's leg beneath the table.  
 

Seokmin let's out a sharp, surprised little laugh, and it's embarrassing because it pulls some people's attention towards them. But it's also music to Jihoon's ears, and he fucking hates himself for that thought.  
 

He gets up to order that second cup of coffee, Seokmin's laughter following behind him.

 

**

 

“Who do you think would be better in bed?”  


Jihoon already has a sinking feeling in his gut. “Don't,” he warns.  
 

Seokmin has always been a man with too little fear for Jihoon's threats, though. “Captain Jack Sparrow, or...”  
 

“Don't. Stop it.”  
 

“Captain Hook?”  


Jihoon stares at him in disbelief. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
 

“Babe, it's a serious question!”  
 

Jihoon shakes his head. This is it. This is how their relationship truly dies. He can't take it anymore. Goodbye, love. “No,” he says, firmly. “Stop talking.”  
 

“I mean,” Seokmin continues, sounding way too conversational for Jihoon's liking. “I have my own thoughts on this-”  
 

Jihoon surges across the couch at Seokmin. Cups his hands on either side of Seokmin's face, and stares up at him, clearly horrified. “What is wrong with you?” He asks again. “Have your brains leaked out of your ears?” He squishes Seokmin's cheeks, just for good measure.  
 

Seokmin just grins. “I mean, I want to say that it's Captain Jack-”  
 

“Why are there still words coming out of your mouth?” Jihoon bemoans. He lets go of Seokmin's face to grab a cushion instead. Maybe he can smother himself before he has to be subjected to any more of this.  
 

“-He's obviously more attractive. But he's always drunk, and I think he's probably pretty lazy in bed.”  
 

“Say another word and I'll never have sex with you ever again.”  
 

 _That_ threat is enough to finally give Seokmin pause, and for a moment Jihoon thinks that he's won, that it's worked. A moment later, his heart drops.  
 

“So then really, I think it'd have to be Captain Hook...”  
 

Jihoon let's out a pained wail, presses his face into the cushion, tries to will himself off this couch, out of this room, off the entire planet, really.  
 

“I hate you. So, so much.” When he risks a peek over the cushion, it's to see a wide, cheeky grin spread across Seokmin's face. And really, it's the worst moment to feel like this, when Seokmin's trying to systematically destroy Jihoon's entire childhood...but, there's something stupidly attractive about that mischievous smile and the way it makes Seokmin's face light up. There are so, so many better situations and scenarios that Jihoon would love to see that expression in, so why, he wonders, why, does it have to be _this_ one.  
 

Jihoon groans, hating Seokmin, and himself. Tries not to think about the fact that he  _chose_ this, really, that he chose Seokmin. Why.  
 

“Why are you like this? Why am I stuck with you for the rest of my life?”  
 

The mood shifts then, palpably, and Jihoon can almost taste it in the air. All thoughts of pirate sex are forgotten suddenly, and Seokmin's just staring at Jihoon, looking wide-eyed and silly (wide-eyed and cute, really).  
 

Seokmin tries to speak, and ends up stumbling over his words. “W-what? What? _What?_ ”  
 

Jihoon suddenly wishes that he hadn't made the joke, as he realises just what it is that Seokmin's probably stuck on. Because Seokmin's staring at him, and his eyes are actually shining. He's looking at Jihoon as if he'd just given the entire universe to Seokmin as a gift. And maybe, to Seokmin, Jihoon kind of has.  
 

“What?” Jihoon asks, shifts a little where he's sitting. Some of his old shyness seems to rise back up to the surface, long forgotten now, as he averts his gaze. “I mean, I am, right?” He says slowly. “Aren't we?” He shrugs, makes it sound much more casual than they both feel suddenly, in this moment. Makes _we're spending the rest of our lives together_ sound a little like _what should we eat for dinner?_ Easy, casual, as if it's a given. “I just figured...”  
 

“Yes,” Seokmin breathes out quickly. “Yeah, of course. Always.”  
 

When Jihoon risks a look, it's to see Seokmin's eyes still looking wet and shiny. He sighs a little internally, because of course Seokmin's going to cry. This is who the universe has set aside as his Just Right. This loud, ridiculous, crybaby. Who also happens to have somehow softened the hard lump in Jihoon's chest that's actually called a heart. Who makes Jihoon laugh like no one else. Who keeps him warm on cold nights, makes sure Jihoon never has to eat alone, and let's Jihoon steal all of his jumpers without a word.  
 

Who's given Jihoon his heart, freely, with enthusiasm, and who's made a spot for himself inside Jihoon's own heart.  
 

Of course, Jihoon sees Seokmin with him in his future now, even if he doesn't really say it. Ever since they finally came to an understanding, and really figured out this whole being together thing, that was it. Why would Jihoon _not_ want Seokmin in his life, when for that brief time he wasn't, Jihoon was as miserable as he's ever been. Seokmin brings the warmth and the colour, brings light into Jihoon's life. And somehow, and Jihoon still doesn't understand _how_ , seems to get just as much joy and love and satisfaction at having Jihoon in his own life.  
 

“Always,” Jihoon finds himself agreeing. Finds himself smiling back at Seokmin, who is now grinning through his tears at Jihoon.  
 

Jihoon huffs, reaches out to try and wipe some of the tears from Seokmin's cheeks. They're warm beneath the press of his fingers, warm from the happy blush that's spread across Seokmin's face. Who knew a thoughtless joke would have this effect on Seokmin?  
 

“Idiot,” he chides, voice full of affection.  


Ridiculous.  
 

Ridiculous how a single person has reduced Jihoon to _this_.  
 

Ridiculous how Jihoon doesn't hate it all that much. Not really.  
 

Not at all.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, many thanks to my beta, Mari, for always encouraging me and fixing all the dumb mistakes I make! Your help and your advice is invaluable!
> 
> Whilst this is probably the last I'll write for these two, I'll share with you all how I imagine things will go for them here on out: sometime after Seokmin graduates, they really will move in together. They'll find a place and it'll be small, but they'll be happy. When things settle down, they really will get that dog too. It'll be a rescue dog, and it'll end up being Jihoon who decides they just have to take the sweet girl back home with them, because look at her face, how can anyone say no to that? And Jihoon will learn how soft he can really be, once there's a dog in the equation.
> 
> They'll be happy and healthy and stupid in love, basically. And Seokmin will continue being far too chatty late at night in bed. Jihoon won't mind, too much.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Come scream at me on twitter about seokhoon/seventeen @hypergalaxies.


End file.
